school jokes

Funny Academic School Jokes for Kids and Middle Schoolers

Tickle your academic funny bone with some school jokes! 

These all are kid-safe, so feel free to share the laugh with your kids! Then share with us which you and your students at home found most funny and entertaining.

Note: Read our article on the best back to school jokes for some additional laughter!

Table of Contents

120 Middle School Jokes!

According to Psych Learning Curve, students benefit from hearing or telling funny school jokes. Here are some of its benefits:

  • increase in learning
  • increase in test performance
  • increase in self-motivation
  • increase in divergent thinking
  • increase in class attendance
  • increase of interest in learning

Below are 120 middle school jokes that kids can use, too! We hope that these will make the classroom more fun and exciting not only to the students but to the teachers as well.

Q: Why did the student throw his watch out of the schooll window? 

A: He wanted to see time fly. 

Q: What vegetables do librarians like? 

A: Quiet peas.

Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party? 

A: Because you can’t drink and derive… 

Math Teacher: If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 on the other hand, what do I have?

Student: A drinking problem.

Q: What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi? 

A: There, Their, They’re 

Dad: “Can I see your report card, son?”

Son: “I don’t have it.”

Dad: “Why?”

Son: “I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents.”

Q: What’s another name for Santa’s elves?

A: Subordinate Clauses. 

Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?”

Student: “My father’s checkbook!”

Q: Why did the student take a ladder to school? 

A: Because he/she was going to high school! 

Teacher: Jill, where is America on the map?

Jill: Right there, ma’am.

Teacher: Correct. Now, Jack, tell me who found America.

Jack: Jill.

Q: What is Grammar? 

A: The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you’re shit. 

Teacher: What is the future tense of the statement: ‘I had killed a thief’?

Student: You will go to jail.

Q: What three candies can you find in every school? 

A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties. 

Q: What do elves learn in school?

A: The Elfabet.

Q: What’s a teacher’s favorite nation? 

A: Expla-nation. 

Teacher: Where was the Constitution of India signed?

Student: At the bottom of the page!

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the school dance? 

A: He didn’t have anybody to take. (any BODY) 

Teacher: Will any idiot in the room stand up, please?

(a student stands up)

Teacher: Why do you think you are an idiot? 

Student: Actually I don’t, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.

Q: Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? 

A: Because it had more cents. 

Q: Why did the girl wear glasses in math class?

A: It improves di-vision.

Q: What happened to the plant in math class? 

A: It grew square roots. 

Teacher: What is the largest city?

Student: Electricity!

Q: What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? 


Teacher: Are you ignorant or just apathetic?

Student: I don’t know and I don’t care.

Q: What is a proof? 

A: One-half percent of alcohol. 

Q: What type of exam does the vampire teacher give his students?

A: A blood test.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? 

A: To get to the same side.

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

Vincent: One dollar.

Teacher: You don’t know your arithmetic.

Vincent: You don’t know my father.

 Q: What kind of school do you find on a mountain top? 

A: Heights school. 

Q: What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

A: Nobody’s perfect!

Q: Why couldn’t the Moebius strip enroll at the school? 

A: They required an orientation. 

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

John: You told me to do it without using tables.

Q: How did the geography student drown? 

A: His grades were below C-level 

John: Knock, knock.

Justin: Who’s there?

John: Gladys.

Justin: Gladys, who?

John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!

Q: Why is a math book always unhappy? 

A: Because it always has lots of problems. 

Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?

Teacher: Of course not.

Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Q: Why don’t you do arithmetic in the jungle? 

A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate! 

Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory?

Student: I don’t know. Why?

Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate!

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? 

A: Because 7 8 9 

Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?

Student: You are pretty.

Teacher: What’s the direct object?

Student: A good report card.

Q: What is a chalkboard’s favorite drink? 

A: hot chalk-olate! 

Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?

Ted: What?

Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”

Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? 


Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?

Johnny: In jail!

Q: What did the fish say when he hit the wall? 

A: Dam! 

Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples, and 3 strawberries, what would you have?

Billy: A delicious fruit salad.

Q: What’s the longest word in the dictionary? 

A: Rubber-band — because it stretches. 

Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?

Tommy: At the great airports!

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? 

A: H2O cubed. 

Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?

Cheryl: I don’t know.

Phil: He has only one pupil.

Q: How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? 

A: Romeostasis 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.

Teacher: What are you talking about?

Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.

Q: What happened when the teacher tied everyone’s laces together? 

A: They went on a class trip. 

Mom: What did you do at school today?

Mark: We did a guessing game.

Mom: But I thought you were having a maths exam.

Mark: That’s right!

Q: Why don’t farts graduate from high school? 

A: Because they always end up getting expelled! 

Q: What kind of school do you go to if you’re an ice cream man? 

A. A sundae school!

Q: Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? 

A: Because he was a paleontologist. 

Q: What kind of school do you go to if you’re a surfer?

A. Boarding school.

Q: Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school? 

A: Because she sprained her angle!! 

Q. What kind of school do you go to if you’re King Arthur?

A. Knight school.

Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean? 

A: Mobius Dick. 

Hunter: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?

Josh: Beats me.

Hunter: Pop quizzes!

Q: Why did the giraffe get bad grades? 

A: He had his head in the clouds. 

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!

Mom: That’s great. What in?

Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.

Q: How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles? 

A: Warsaw! 

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.

Class: Hooray!

Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.

Q: What do you call a music teacher with problems? 

A: a trebled man. 

Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies?

Moe: I don’t know. What?

Joe: The ruler.

Q: Did you hear they’re changing the flooring in daycare centers? 

A: They’re calling it infant-tile! 

Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?

Leonard: Why?

Jacob: She had bright students!

Q: What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 

A: 2 Fast 2 Curious 

Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?

Josh: I don’t know. Why?

Chad: They’re good at trick questions.

Q: What gets white as it gets dirty? 

A: Chalkboard 

Luke: Why did the M&M go to school?

Stan: I’m stumped.

Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!

Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder? 

A: To reach the high notes. 

David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?

Dan: I don’t know. Why?

David: Because it was always sweeping during class!

Q: What do you call the leader of a biology gang? 

A: The Nucleus 

Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?

Kate: Why?

Nate: Because there was no history to study!

Q: Why did the two 4’s skip lunch? 

A: They already 8 (ate). 

Mom: What did you learn at school today?

Child: Not enough. They said I have to go back tomorrow.

Q: Name a bus you can never enter? 

A: A syllabus 

Q: How did you find school today?

A: I simply hopped off the bus – and there it was.

Q: What did the mathematician’s parrot say? 

A: A poly “no meal” 

Q: Why did the boy eat his math homework?

A: Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

Q: Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? 

A: Because it’s basic material. 

Q: Do you know how bees get to school

A: On the school buzz!

Q: If H20 is water what is H204? 

A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . . 

Q: What U.S. state has the most math teachers?

A: Mathachussets.

Q: What did one math book say to the other? 

A: Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems! 

Q: Why did the boy go to school with his pants tucked into his socks?

A: To protect himself from mathema-ticks.

Q: Why did the teacher write on the windows? 

A: Because he wanted it to be very clear.

Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite dessert?

A: Pi

If number two pencils are so popular why are they still number two?

Q: What room can a student never enter

A: A Mushroom.

Q: Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot.

Q: What did the pen say to the pencil?

A: What’s your point?

Q: Matt had 60 cookies. He ate 30 of them. What does he have now?

A: a Tummy ache.

Q: What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?

A: Stop going in circles and get to the point!

Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?

A. You’re pointless

Q: What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?

A: Bookworms

Q: Why did the obtuse angle get upset?

A: Because it knew it would never be right.

Q: What did the math book say to the history book?

A: You know you can count on me.

Q: Why did the teacher marry the janitor?

A: Because he swept her off her feet.

Q: Why is glue bad at math?

A: It always gets stuck on problems.

Q: Why didn’t the sun go to college?

A: Because it already had a million degrees!

Q: How do the fish get to school?

A: By octobus!

Q: What does a snake learn in school?

A: Hiss tory.

Q: Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?

A: Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q: What did the calculator say to the other calculator?

A: You can count on me!

Q: What did the bully have for lunch?

A: He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q: Why is arithmetic hard work?

A: All those numbers you have to carry.

Q: Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?

A: Times Square.

Q: What tools do you need for math?


Q: Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?

A: Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q: What’s the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?

A: Getting lost.

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with “t”.

Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.

Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?

Student: I’m paying as little attention as I can.

Q: What do you call a computer superhero

A: A Screen Saver.

Q: Why did the computer sneeze

A: It had a virus.

Q: Why did the computer cross the road

A: To get a byte to eat.

Final Thoughts: Funny School Jokes!

Using school appropriate jokes inside the classroom has tons of benefits! That is why we took the liberty of compiling some of the top middle school jokes and school appropriate jokes we know hoping that you can share them with your friends and teachers. 

But aside from these, here are some other articles that you may find useful in maintaining a stress-free and happy academic life:

If you have any other middle school jokes that you want to share with us, comment it down below! Enjoy!

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Todd VanDuzer

Co-Founder & CEO at Student-Tutor
Hello! My name is Todd. I help students design the life of their dreams by ensuring college, scholarship, and career success! I am a former tutor for seven years, $85,000 scholarship recipient, Huffington Post contributor, lead SAT & ACT course developer, host of a career exploration podcast for teens, and have worked with thousands of students and parents to ensure a brighter future for the next generation. I invite you to join my next webinar to learn how to save thousands + set your teenager up for college, scholarship, and career success!
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Funny Puns
Funny Puns
6 years ago

These funny academic jokes made me think about my nostalgic puns

maillot Allemagne 2014
9 years ago

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