classroom comedy jen carsen mommy tries student-tutor

Jen Carsen – You Can’t Fight City Hall

In 5th grade, Jen Carsen had a teacher who was, as she described, a bit of an “odd duck.”

This teacher—we’ll call her Ms. Duck—consistently did strange things.  She wore bizarre, old-timey shoes, and big, old-fashioned cat-eye glasses.  And every single day for lunch, she brought in a grilled cheese sandwich and microwaved it, so she ended up with this mysterious soggy concoction of bread and cheese.

She also had something against a boy in class named Doug.

Nobody knew what it was—Doug was relentlessly ordinary.  He didn’t talk back, he didn’t cause trouble, and he generally handed in his homework on time.

But Ms. Duck never seemed particularly fond of him—and things came to a head when Doug ran for class president…and won.

For some reason, Ms. Duck wasn’t happy.  And instead of keeping it to herself, she spearheaded a movement to impeach the ten-year-old class president.

“Jen?” Ms. Duck asked, and Jen looked up, curious.  “Will you make a motion to remove Doug from office?”

Confused and young and caught up in the whole production, Jen made a motion.  Somebody else seconded the motion, and before they knew it, little Doug had been impeached. city hall jen carsen student-tutor Everybody looked around at each other.  What just happened?  Was Doug upset?  Nobody seemed to know what to do. Ms. Duck swiftly installed Jen as the new president, but before everyone could really make things right with Doug, he moved away.

The strangeness of the impeachment hung over the classroom for the rest of the year, under the watchful eye of those cat-eyed glasses.

To this day, Jen really doesn’t know where Doug ended up—but for the sake of irony, let’s imagine he’s holding office somewhere.

Maybe as a governor, or maybe as the president of the homeowner’s association—and probably with a severe aversion to grilled cheese.

Jen Carsen is the author of the blog Mommy Tries, and has not held any public office since 5th grade.

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Dressler Parsons

Dressler Parsons spent most of her childhood in an adobe house her father built in rural Arizona. Right now, she's taking so many business and art classes at Barrett, the Honors College at Arizona State University, and plans to graduate in Fall 2016 with a Bachelor of Science in Marketing, and a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Intermedia. And, handily enough, her SAT scores and grades qualified her for ASU's Presidential Scholarship (worth $24,000), as well as the AIMS tuition waiver. She is passionate about showing people their potential for a bright, beautiful future. In her free time, she cooks edible things and knits inedible ones.
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